Teaching is about building relationships with students. Donald Graves, in his book A Sea of Faces, reminds us that we must know 10 things about each of our students before we are truly ready to teach them.
So, if coaching is about building relationships with teachers, then we must know our teachers in much the same way.
But do we?
We spend time getting to know our content, our standards, our curriculum, and our practices, but do we take enough time to get to know our teachers, too?
Let’s see:
Write down the names of three teachers you work with. Don’t think too much about it—just write down the first three names that come to your mind, like those you work with the most.
Next, write down 10 things you know about each teacher. Can you easily think of 10 things? Do you have to reach a bit to note them? Or are you completely stuck?
Now, think about the list of things you wrote down for each teacher. Does that teacher know you know that about them? It is one thing to know things about your teacher, but it is quite another for them to know you actually care to know those things.
Repeat the process for an additional grouping of teachers, but purposely choose teachers you work with less frequently. Look at your lists and reflect:
- Do you notice any correlation between how well you know the teachers and how often you work with them?
- Do you notice any correlation between how well you know the teachers and how effective your coaching is?
- Do you notice any correlation between how well you know the teachers and how you feel about them?
If you spend time getting to know your teachers, especially those teachers who may be reluctant to work with you, you might find a shift in their willingness to collaborate. Small things, seemingly outside of our content coaching, can make a big impact. Remembering to bring hard candies to your session for the teacher who does not prefer chocolate (I know, there are only a few out there!) will be appreciated. Commenting on a beautiful dress or sweater means you noticed them. Asking about a teacher’s child who was sick a few days ago shows that teacher you care. These small acknowledgments help teachers connect with you and lead to more substantive coaching connections later on.
So, what kinds of things might you want to know? Here are a few ideas:
- Interests, hobbies, family, and friends
- Reading and writing lives
- Instructional strengths and needs
- Classroom preferences and ideas (management, routines, etc.)
- Preferred ways of communicating
- Plans and goals for the future
We need to coach teachers in the responsive, unique ways they deserve to be coached, and that starts by getting to know them to build strong professional relationships. When we know more, we can do better and ensure that our coaching is a good fit for each teacher. Here are three things to try tomorrow:
- Periodically send Google Forms to survey teachers on their wants, needs, and preferences for learning together.
- Build time into your daily schedule to personally connect with at least one teacher. Stop in his or her classroom, send a quick email, or say hello in the hallway.
- Jot down notes about what you learn about each teacher in a private notebook so you remember the information later to impact your coaching.
Just five minutes a day can go a long way toward building powerful instructional relationships.
