Please note: Tornado drill changes don’t belong on the Instructional Leadership Team agenda.
I left this comment on the Google Doc teacher leaders were using to discuss instruction. As principal, I not only attend but usually run Instructional Leadership Team meetings. Our focus is on school-wide professional learning. Safety drills, important as they are, are typically handled in a different forum.
But I am not able to attend Instructional Leadership Team meetings. For medical reasons, I am limited to a part-time work schedule. While I recover, it means giving up some responsibilities of school leadership. Discussing our tornado drill procedure is now part of the agenda.
What I Thought Might Happen When I Was Not in School
The first couple of days on medical leave, when I was completely at home, were the hardest.
- “We have a new literacy curriculum; how will I be able to ensure integrity of implementation?”
- “A few students need my support. I’m not sure how they are going to be successful if I am not there for our daily check-ins.”
- “The board is going to want a school update…I hope they will be okay with my absence.”
These and similar thoughts rattled around my head as I recovered at home.
Most educators can relate to these feelings without having to be on medical leave. Teachers schedule one-day absences to the minute for substitutes. We don’t want to lose any ground in student learning. An unexpected absence? That’s the stuff of nightmares.
During my time at home, I was able to hop on a Zoom call with a colleague to share my worries. He listened, nodding to affirm what I was sharing. He paused, then responded:
“This is the true test of leadership: How will the school function without our presence?”
What Actually Happened When I Was Not at School
My wife also works in my school, so I received a firsthand account of how things were going as I recovered at home.
- Students I met with still struggled at times with behavior, although no differently from when I was there. The leaders covering for my responsibilities were responding as I would.
- Teachers were implementing the literacy curriculum resource. Our instructional coach offered support as needed. She also took over our leadership team. She reported that the changes in tornado drill procedures helped staff members feel less anxious. If they feel calmer, I told myself, then they are probably better instructors.
- Some tasks, like prepping the master schedule for next year, were not as pressing. I asked for help from a consultant. They suggested removing some intervention time we typically schedule. It created more minutes for the literacy block and less fragmentation.
Seeing our school operate without me was affirming. It was also humbling. We say as leaders that we want to leave our school better than we found it. We want to “work ourselves out of a job” by empowering others to lead. But to witness that happening is more bittersweet than I expected.
What I am referring to here is loss.
In her book Identity Theft, professor Debra Meyerson shares how her loss of speech because of a massive stroke also affected how she perceived herself in the world.
“Strokes don’t just create physical and mental disabilities; they can also steal our identities. Much of my pre-stroke life became inaccessible. Understanding and accepting the loss of my old life was one of the hardest parts of my recovery and rebuilding process. Along with the constant rehab and speech therapy aimed at physical recovery, I’ve spent the past eight years working to regain my sense of self, trying to answer the question: Who am I now?”
It’s more than a physical change. There’s also an internal shift needed in our identities. This loss, happening on multiple levels, is not unlike the grieving process.
Right now, I am in the accepting phase. I am adapting to new ways of leading as I come back to work full time. For example, I am distributing leadership responsibilities to teachers.
Here are some questions I am now asking myself:
- What does shared leadership look like?
- From an identity perspective, who do I become next?
- Thinking about the many hats that I’ve worn, what new roles can I embody to match the needs of the school we are today?
Next are “new hats” I am trying on in my position. You might find some ideas to consider, too.
Community facilitator
Professional conversations allow for teacher leaders to do more of the talking. I see my role focused more on ensuring a safe space for everyone to speak up and take risks. To reinforce this identity, I have engaged in professional development through Adaptive Schools, which supports the “how” of professional learning communities.
Leadership coach
My critique around the tornado drill revealed top-down leadership practices. When mindful, I instead coach to cultivate the decision-making capacity of our teachers. Of course, there may be times when I have to step up and make a decision. And yet every time teachers flex their leadership muscles, they grow as leaders.
Environmental designer
We can shape our beliefs through the physical design of our school. For example, I am helping a few teachers improve the acoustics in their classrooms. These spaces have proved to be too distracting for some of our students. We also want to install a sensory space. It will be a refuge for students who struggle with emotional self-regulation. Political persuasion and financial sense are the leadership skills I need to flex.
These needs rise from the teachers and students. I know about them because they feel empowered to speak up. Not every request or idea is 100% aligned with our goals and mission. Yet every decision is another opportunity for others besides me to lead.
