I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
—Brené Brown
Recently when we were talking to an instructional coach from another district, she described coaching as the best job in the world because you get to love on people all day long. Although we don’t disagree with her, we wonder what happens when we find ourselves feeling like we have less to give. We challenged ourselves to recognize and reflect upon these feelings.
In an instructional leadership position, the work ebbs and flows. There are times in our role when we are in classrooms continuously, meeting with teachers and interacting with students—experiences that are gratifying and help us feel connected. We also recognize that at times our work is isolating and can feel lonely. We know that some of the things that weigh on us in our role are out of our control. So what do we do when we are faced with a low time—a time when we are not feeling our best? How can we seek out connections to reenergize ourselves, and in turn spark joy and energy for others?
Joining a Classroom
Sometimes our work as instructional coaches can become bogged down with meetings and computer work, pulling us away from our true why—the students. Finding ways to just be in the presence of students has helped us reconnect.
We reached out to trusted colleagues, asking for ways we could be in their classrooms. We found many teachers were open to having us read aloud a new and/or loved book. Some were comfortable with us simply bringing our laptop and working alongside their students. On days when a teacher was out, we offered to support a guest teacher by being an additional, and known, adult in the room. Once we were back in the presence of students, our why rushed back to meet us.
Uncovering Gems of Strength
Everyone loves trying to solve a mystery. On the weekends, we have found comfort in curling up with yet another Sherlock-Holmes-inspired television series. At work, we helped teachers dig deeper and learn more about a student or small group of students. Instead of a whodunit, we identified each student’s gem of strength, the clue that helped us piece together ways to best support their learning. Connecting with these students and their teachers helped build their self-efficacy and ours.
Giving a Gift of Time
We have all heard that there is more joy in giving than in receiving. Author Kelly Barnhill says it beautifully in her novel The Ogress and The Orphans: “Good is not a number. Good is more than that. With good, the more you give, the more you have. It’s the best sort of magic.” Many times the week before a break can be full for teachers, and challenging. It is also usually a time when coaches are in fewer rooms and have fewer connections with students and staff. Feeling this lull we decided to try something a little different and give teachers the gift of time. Teachers used this time to update student goals, work on grading, or plan. Our small gifts of covering a recess duty, teaching a lesson, and reading a book to a class led to future coaching opportunities. Giving a gift of time can bring joy to both you and the recipient and most certainly helps to build relationships.
Reading a Professional Text
Teachers have shared that at the start of each new school year, they reread a favorite professional book to refocus their promises to themselves as educators. We too each have a favorite that inspires us: Choice Words by Peter H. Johnston and Hands Down, Speak Out: Listening and Talking Across Literacy and Math by Kassia Omohundro Wedekind and Christy Hermann Thompson. Revisiting a professional book that reaffirmed our professional beliefs was a recharger, but when we invited others to share in these words with us, we strengthened one another and continued to build common ground. The words of these author educators are important and recharge us each time we review them. By reopening a professional book, reading an article or blog post, we discovered a new way to think about something in our practice, something new to try, ideas to share.
Conclusion
Every day brings new choices.
—Martha Beck
When we reflected, we recognized that our days were full, but we were missing time with teachers and students. We made the choice to reenergize ourselves and put ourselves in a better position to energize others. We hope this might help you recharge as well.
