The Big Fresh October 29, 2016 Kindness

After class one rainy and chilly evening, I opened the door to a different greeting than I had expected.  Jim met me at the door, took my soggy raincoat, and led me into the living room.

“Sit down and relax for a minute,” he said.  “I’ve got something for you.” He reappeared a moment later with my favorite flannel cowgirl pajamas, warm from the dryer.   “I thought you might like to get cozy before you eat.”  I melted into the familiar softness.

He bustled into the kitchen and returned with a steaming bowl of homemade chicken rice soup—my favorite winter treat.  I was warmed inside and out by this act of kindness, truly one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me.  I must admit, Jim also seemed warmed by this sweet and generous impulse to cheer the end of my tiring day, though he, too, had worked long and hard.  I think we were both touched by that special evening and still remember it with fondness.

When giving a lecture near the end of his life, author Aldous Huxley said, “People often ask me what is the most effective technique for transforming their life. It is a little embarrassing that after years and years of research and experimentation, I have to say that the best answers is – just be a little kinder.”

We all love to be treated kindly—and what we are now learning is that the act of being kind is also beneficial in many ways.  When someone is kind to us—and when we are kind to others—we get an emotional lift. We are naturally happier.  And this is as true for children as it is for adults.  In fact, new research is showing the many reasons to celebrate kindness at home, at school, in the workplace–everywhere.  It’s simply good for us.

I was fascinated to read research conducted by Dr. Michael Tomasello that shows that the tendency to be kind is actually innate, something we have even in infancy.  Children as young as 14 months old will try to help adults who are struggling with something—like opening a door with their hands full.

Even beyond making ourselves and others feel good, research on the brain is showing us that when we are kind, we create neural pathways that enhance feelings of well-being and the natural flow of those endorphins that make us feel good.

Best of all, kindness appears to be contagious, multiplying acts of kindness by inspiring others to do the same.

So why not build on this natural tendency in the classroom? I don’t mean a (heaven forbid!) “kindness curriculum,” but a more spontaneous effort to highlight kindness when it occurs and encourage sharing stories of times we have been kind, or experienced kindness.  As I continue to visit schools and work with teachers, I hope to brainstorm natural ways to bring this new research on kindness into the daily culture of the classroom environment.   Simply focusing on these simple acts of giving—a smile, a word of encouragement, an offer of help (or soup, or toasty pjs) can make a significant shift in our daily experiences.. Kindness can be a habit that helps all of us lead happier lives.